I’m convinced that the more stressful things that happen in your life…the more stressful things that happen. Maybe I’m finally getting that Murphy’s Law isn’t some joke that people who have mild everyday stress share and then just shrug their shoulders. Maybe for some people…it’s an everyday reality.

Parenting special kids is stressful beyond the “everyday stress” in so many ways. Potential battles are around every corner – the child’s disorder, doctors or other professionals who don’t understand, the schools, insurance companies, opinions of family and friends. All can be landmines waiting to explode.

Then there are the mundane, the everyday stressors that everyday people attribute to Murphy’s Law. Only the thing is…they happen more often to the families already under stress than to those not under stress. I’m convinced of it. (And I think research says stressed out people are more likely to get sick, have accidents, etc.) This year has been a real stinker for our family. In fact, even my holiday letter says this year “sucked” (not sure if that’s the actual word I used or not…not very festive sounding or braggy, huh?)

Actually things had been looking up lately and I’m trying to get into the holiday spirit. LuLu and I have been taking shopping jaunts in the afternoons to beat the weekend crowds. We took one on Monday and apparently I ran a red light (1.04 seconds after it had turned red to be exact.) Funny thing is, this stressed out mom can’t even remember being at that intersection on Monday afternoon. BUT, they have automated pictures, and that is my car…so, there goes the groceries for next week or someone’s Christmas gift.

Before you label me a whiner (I am whining, by the way, one of the few things I can do without an additional finance charge these days), let me explain what EXACTLY was occurring at my house WHEN I opened this piece of news in the mail today.

LuLu and I had just returned from her evaluation to start FastForWord – an auditory processing intervention I’m sure I’ll be blogging on later. I put a staggering $2800 on my credit card at the therapist’s office. We had stopped by the science museum to take in an exihibit on the Roman Empire, something we’d been reading about this week. LuLu bought a replica of a Roman coin on a necklace there. Her behavior had been stellar all day. Just as I was going through the mail (and finding the citation), her OCD locked in and she decided that she wanted this coin pendant to be on a specific cord instead of the chain it came on. Of course the hole in the pendant was WAY TOO SMALL to fit the cord. But as she struggled with this impossibility, she started to totally meltdown…at the same time I realized I had a reason to melt as well…

So, after about 30 minutes of “talking her back down” from the idea of having this pendant of the cord (and keeping her from destroying any property), I helped her put the jewelry back together. Then, she calmly announced she was putting the pendant on another piece of jewelry.

THAT WAS IT! More than I could take. I burst into tears. (Something I rarely do.) I just stood there in my kitchen sobbing at the ludicrousness of my life.

Then…something nearly miraculous happened…LuLu stopped obsessing about the necklace and came over to comfort me. She said the following as she hugged me:

“Mom, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m getting better, you know.”

Me…still melting down…shook my head “no”.

“I am too getting better!” she insisted, “It’s hard, but we’re trying our hardest. We’re on the winning team. What we’re dreaming for is going to happen.”

That did it! First off, I’m pretty sure that I’ve never directly articulated that I “dreamed” of healing for LuLu. But it was crystal clear that was what she meant. And she distinctly said “we” not “you”…a shared purpose.

So I cried some more. Same tears; different reason. How silly for me to be so caught up in stupid stressors and not see the bigger picture.

“I love you, Mom.” And she hugged me.

And I knew I was seeing a very disabled, highly obsessive girl whose Attachment Disorder has SIGNIFICANTLY healed.

“You’re not going to cry anymore are you Mom?”

And when I looked at her, she had tears welling in her eyes (That’s empathy for those of you not sure of it’s importance.)

Maybe I should run red lights more often…..

Or maybe not. Something tells me Super Dad won’t react exactly the same way…