Kay is convinced that she is often invisible. And I have to say that one of the moms at ATN’s conference did cut me to the quick when she said upon meeting Kay, “I didn’t know you had another daughter. You never talk about her.”

She’s right. I definitely hyperfocus on LuLu and her issues, especially when I’m around other moms of special needs kids. But in my heart, Kay is far from invisible. One of the benefits of the ATN conference is that Kay loves working along side me and the other volunteers. And she does a stellar job!

The conference definitely fills Kay’s tank, as well as mine, because we are able to use our family’s struggles to help others. And Kay has a real heart for the parents and siblings of traumatized children. Kay, and two wonderfully mature and insightful young ladies (one being Nancy’s oldest daughter), was part of a healthy sibling panel discussion at the conference. Kay was nervous. She was the youngest of the group and, like any healthy teen who was thrust into being a big sister to a child with some very complex special needs, she has the full gamut of feelings about that. She was concerned about whether she’d be able to answer the questions, whether they’d be too personal, whether she’d provide any insight to the parents.

She was amazing! (They all were.) It was almost overwhelming to hear, in her own words, both the love and struggles she sees and feels in our family. She was candid, yet positive. And one mom told her afterwards she was buying the DVD to take home to her daughter so she would know that she wasn’t alone in the way she feels about her traumatized siblings. Kay had proudly accomplished her mission!

Throughout the whole conference, I had so many people tell me how special Kay is and how fortunate I am to have her as a daughter. It’s true…she is so very precious. And she has been so mature, so thoughtful, so giving from a very early age.

When I told her last night that one friend had told me that every parent at the conference would love to have Kay for their daughter and how special she was. Kay was humbled, but then she laughed. “Mom, LuLu and I are a team. I don’t think it’s an accident that you got us both. And I don’t think we’d be who we are without the other.”

Yes, my not-so-invisible child is definitely wise beyond her years.

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