Every two months I take my teenage daughter to see her psychiatrist. He always asks how she is doing, just as he has done for the past four years. After he asks her, he will ask me what I think. Then, based on our answers, he writes out prescriptions for medication for the next two months. About twice a year, he makes changes in her prescriptions. I have actually been impressed by the maturity of my teenage daughter’s responses over the past year. For example, today she looked right at him when she spoke. She told him that she has been having trouble with lying and stealing.

Whenever she tells him that she is having a problem, he will ask questions to make sure he understands. Today their dialogue went something like this.

Doctor: “What kinds of things do you steal?”

Daughter: “Mostly things with lots of sugar, but sometimes money or other stuff.”

Doctor: “Why do you think you do that?”

Daughter: “Well I don’t really know. But, I see something and I think I should take it. Then I think I shouldn’t take it. But, then I usually take it.”

Doctor: “Do you think it is wrong? If I see your watch and I ask you if I can look at and then I keep it, would that be ok?”

Daughter: “No.”

Doctor: “If I look in your purse and take your money, would that be ok?”

Daughter: “No.”

Doctor: “Why do you think it isn’t good for you to take things?”

Daughter: “Because I lose my trust.”

Doctor: “Well, yes that does happen. What should you do about it?”

Daughter: “I shouldn’t take things.”

Doctor: “Your daughter suffered early neglect didn’t she? Sometimes these behaviors are ingrained and difficult to stop.”

Me: “Yes, that is true and each year that she keeps doing it, the more ingrained it becomes. However, she is getting to an age that if someone decides to press charges against her she will spend time in jail.”

Doctor: “Yes that certainly is a possibility. What do you think you should do Lyn?”

Daughter: “I shouldn’t take things.”

My daughter used to just sit there and not say much. About a year ago, I sat her down and explained the importance to her. I told her that these appointments are to help her and we can’t help her if she doesn’t tell us what is going on. I explained that I don’t know what she is thinking and neither does the doctor. If she truly wants help then it is up to her to explain it to the doctor. Ever since then, she has been making progress in her attempts to talk to her doctor.

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Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2007