It depends on who you ask...is joining an online parents support group a good thing or not?

For me, online support groups have been a lifesaver. I joined my first one back in 1996, as we began pursuing the idea of adopting a baby from China. At the time I had just spoken with an FCC (Families with Children from China) member whose main advice was "Get thee to the Internet" because you can't easily do an international adoption with out it.

I found his advice to be sound, and before long was on the "APC" (adopt-parent-china) list. It was an invaluable wealth of information on the procedures for adopting from China, on advice about which agencies to use, what to pack, how to expedite paperwork.

When we returned home and it because obvious that LuLu’s issues were actual problems that needed answers, I turned first to the medical professionals in our community, but not long after that to the Internet. In August 1999, I joined a small, newly-formed listserv called “Attach-China”. The Attach-China listserv, and website, celebrated their 7th anniversary yesterday. This resource has been the saving grace of hundreds of families whose internationally adopted children have attachment and PTSD issues.

Throughout the years, online support groups have touched our lives, giving us support, resources and information that other sources could never have done.

That’s why I was intrigued by the article on Online Parent Groups: Support at Your Fingertips in this month’s SchwabLearning email newsletter.
The article does a thorough job of detailing the pros and cons of online support groups.
Some of the benefits include:

• Connecting with others who share common experiences can be a huge relief from isolation. I think this is VERY true for families of children with disabilities. But would guess it would be equally true for people suffering other issues that were less-than-common. In otherwords, we have no one in our immediate sphere of influence (family, friends, co-worker, church family) who are parenting a child with attachment/PTSD, Tourettes/OCD/ADHD and PDD. I know some families in the Atlanta area struggling with these issues. But I know literally hundreds of adoptive and foster families, via online support groups, who are dealing with similar issues. Online support groups are able to reach beyond your geographics to make connections with families who have similar challenges…much like this blog does.
• Online communities can connect you with experts who have graduated from the "school of hard knocks,." I have benefited on both sides of this equation. I have learned a TON from parents who have gone before me. Their insight and support has kept me going. And the inverse is true. After struggling long and hard, nothing gives me greater pleasure than to share the lessons learned with others, to hopefully make their load a little lighter and their path a little less rocky. Online support groups are a quick and easy way to do that.
• Online communities offer flexibility in the time, location, and pace that you participate. This is especially important for parents of challenging children, whose lives are often overwhelmed and schedules are often frantic. Many online support groups are available to you 24 hours a day, using any computer that has access to the World Wide Web or to an email program, so you can “drop in” when you have the time and opportunity. They are there in the middle of the night when you have an all-important question. And are available to read when you have the time.

I have to add my own “pros” to this list, as I do see online support groups as a huge blessing!

• Online communities have the potential to develop lasting friendships. One of the biggest concerns that critics of online support groups have is that the anonymity of the group and the ability to portray yourself online anyway you like, leads to false senses of friendships. I supposed this could be true. And if you’re using an online support group, you should be clear about who is allowed on the list, how public it is, and how others might not be everything they appear. But having a decade of online support under my belt, I can tell you that I’ve met numerous (probably 50+) of my listmates over the years and the vast majority are exactly what they appear to be online. Only in one case did I ever feel “weird” about my face-to-face encounter with another parent I’d met in cyberspace. The rest of the time, the people truly are struggling parents, eager to connect, share and learn from each other. I’m also proud to say some of my very dearest friends over the last decade have been initially met online.
• Participation in an online support group provides a fascinating written record of our child’s progress and your life as a parent of a special kid. Another “side benefit” of my decade online is the extensive written record of my daughter’s progress (or backsliding at times) and of the various interventions, therapies, and developments in her life. Visiting posts I wrote years ago are both enlightening and highly emotional. I can see so much how she’s grown and healed, and how I’ve grown and changed as her mother. It’s a wonderful way to “accidentally” document your progress.

So what are the dangers??? Check out Part 2