Over the 14 years of providing a foster home to children, we have gotten used to many behaviors. You might even be surprised to know what we consider normal that is unless you have been a foster parent to toddlers and older children yourself. The children with passive aggressive behaviors far outnumber the “in your face” outspoken children in foster care. The outspoken children will tell you where to shove it so you know exactly what they are thinking. The passive aggressive children say “yes” to your face, and then break something or make a mess. It no longer bothers me to have my lamps broken, family heirlooms destroyed, or feces painted on the bathroom walls. I can live with having a gouge down the entire length of my van and finding chicken poop tracked through the entire house. But, leave my underwear alone! Wearing another person’s underwear is a little too personal.

Most charitable clothing distributors do not even accept used underwear. When a person outgrows their underwear around here, we throw it away. We don’t pass it on to the next younger child. We would never consider donating used underwear to anyone or socks for that matter.

I was in the kitchen a little late this evening washing the dishes. I had spent an hour outside playing with our toddler, Ami, and then had to run into town to pick up Ali from her extended visit with mom. That is why I happened to be in the kitchen when Lyn finished her shower and walked out of the bathroom. She had her pajamas on and she was holding her pile of dirty clothes. There they were, my underwear hanging from her hand. She had worn them all day or perhaps more. (My bathroom is upstairs in my bedroom and I never dress in that bathroom.)

Perhaps she was having one of those days when you want to pretend you are an old granny. NOT! It could not have been comfortable for her all day. I weigh 50 pounds more than she does. I wear size 12 clothing and she wears size 3 clothing she had to have noticed that they didn’t fit. I hope this isn’t going to be her new regular passive aggressive behavior it is too personal. If it is, I may need to buy stock in Fruit of the Loom and keep a supply of new underwear to wear only once.



Photo Credit:Miss Pupik.Attribution license creative commons .