I have a friend who refers to raising children as “being pecked to death slowly by chickens”. Now I suppose that analogy is more apt for a mom of several children, especially several small children all needing lots of individual attention. But for me, most days LuLu is enough.

Yesterday was a rough day for poor LuLu. She hadn’t slept much (about 3 hours), and was having rather severe GI discomfort. Because she was wide awake at 2 am and still at 5 am, we started school then (her idea). She did remarkably well and then crashed for a nap. Surprisingly she didn’t nap again in the afternoon. But her stomach/intestinal upset caused her normal level of anxiety to increase quite a bit. And when LuLu’s anxiety level rises, she starts to pick…literally and figuratively.

I caught (and redirected) her several times from picking on her skin. But she was also picking on me. Wanting to know every detail of yesterday, today, the entire week. “When are we going to…” “What is going to happen…” “I want you to…” “I need....” Each sentence was delivered with increasing urgency.

LuLu’s birthday is tomorrow. This is one of the other reasons for increased anticipation that produces increased anxiety. She’s been “looking forward” to her birthday for about a week now – meaning that her anxiety level has been creeping up. Yesterday she was in a near panic that she wouldn’t “be well” for her birthday. Never mind that we have nothing big planned for tomorrow because no one will be around except she and me; instead having her birthday dinner planned for Sunday. Still, she is just sure that something will ruin the day. Her increased anxiety just underscores her core negative belief system. She is such a mixture of anticipation and surety that all the positive she anticipates won’t actually happen.

All this results in driving me slowly mad. She is full of constant chatter, constant worry, constant impatience. I can’t imagine having more than one chicken pecking me to death slowly…as this is definitely a maddening experience.

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