I’m still mulling this over, having received feedback on my blog on privacy, and read the feedback on Nancy’s blog that indicates many people believe talking about adult children and their issues violates their privacy. I’m not sure what I think.

I do believe that children have a right to privacy and that right continues to grow and expand as the child matures. But I have a hard time pinpointing where the parent’s experience and story ends and where the adult child’s story starts.

One of my readers, John, defines it as adulthood, and especially as when the adult child is living on his/her own. I supposed that’s as good of a demarcation point as any other. Yet, I’m not sure at what point your lives quit being intertwined or that our story is no longer a shared one.

I have no answers about this all, but also agree with a reader who said that time, while it may not heal things, does give new perspectives. And this is definitely a factor on what we tell about our children or don’t tell.

I have no idea how our story is going to end. So writing about what is happening around me and to me while it’s happening will be quite interesting to revisit many years from how. Will any of it make sense? Will any of the conclusions I try to draw now come close to what really should be concluded?

Respecting the privacy of adult children with disabilities and exactly where that privacy line is something I will have to continue to ponder. While I don’t intentionally plan on disrespecting any of my children’s privacy whether they’re living in my home or not, I also don’t plan on denying the truth…and right now I anticipate that the truth of the coming chapters of our story will be filled with more challenges, struggles, and heartaches.

Still, it’s important to remember who the villain of the story is – the disability and not the child or parent. The focus and purpose of writing a blog like this is not so my child will read it and decide to change (oh were it that simple) or for me to boast of my parenting skills or somehow “get even” with a child who has caused me great pain. It is purely for education and support of the families who come down this path after us. And it gives me the added benefit of demanding that I think about these issues.

I anticipate there will be a day when LuLu will question what I’ve written here. Not so much question the accuracy of my report as to why I chose to do it and how it makes her feel. She may even been pretty darn upset, because, after all, some of this is pretty darn troubling stuff. Or she may be able to look back and see how far she’s progressed. Only time will tell.

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