I have been quite impressed by my 14-year-old daughter’s honesty during the last several visits we have made to her psychiatrist. With each visit, she seems to open up a little more to him. This is important for several reasons. First, she is nearing adulthood and would like to live on her own someday. Therefore, it is important for her to not only own her disability but also begin taking over the management of it. Secondly, the doctor cannot help her if she is not honest about how she is doing and feeling. While her doctor and I can see the outward results of her actions, we cannot determine what thoughts drove her to those actions. Therefore, if she truly desires to improve she must be honest with her psychiatrist to have productive visits.

I have gone over these themes many times over the years with several of my adopted children. While medication can help a person control urges, impulsivity, and emotions it is not a cure all by itself. Each person must make a decision to heal, change, or improve. Until the person receiving therapy, buys-in to the plan, there cannot be a transformation.
While medication may reduce the severity of the behaviors, it cannot eliminate them by itself.

She does have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) and has struggled over the years with lying and stealing. Of course, lying and stealing are common problems among children with FAS. She told her therapist that she did know when she was lying or stealing. She also told him that she could choose which one to do. He asked her if she chose to lie to avoid getting into trouble. She said that was part of it, but then there was the other reason.

What other reason he queried as I wondered too. She said that she just couldn’t explain it. For now, it is still a mystery. Perhaps I will be able to get it out of her during one of our therapeutic horseback riding jaunts.



Photo Credit: 2008 Julia Fuller.