Our daughter just finished the eighth grade, well sort of; she is making up three classes over summer school. She has been attending homeschool for the past four years. We didn’t feel that she was challenged enough in special education. That was part of our decision to homeschool our learning disabled daughter. However, she struggled with stealing, forgery, cheating, and lying at public school as well. I understand these are common problems among children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. However, now we are considering reintroducing her to public school for high school. Public school offers job training services, as well as transportation to various jobs, for learning disabled students. The schools make an active effort to train these students for independent living.

I am feeling rather apprehensive about sending her back to school though. I worry that these behaviors may escalate. Today, we discussed it, and that did not make me feel any better. She suggested that I lock my purse up so that she won’t have access to it, if she goes back to public school.

I am glad that she is being honest with me. That is a big step for her. We have spent 11 years trying to instill the idea, after her placement with us just before her fourth birthday. Yes, we knew she had these behaviors when we adopted her. However, we thought she would grow out of them. I also suffered from the delusion that I could fix her into a normal child. Prior to her adoption, Super Dad said, “You realize she will never live on her own,” I disagreed totally.

She actually might be able to live on her own in a few years. Many adults with disabilities do, with a little assistance that is. It might be necessary to help her pay her bills every month or do it for her. These are issues that are specifically addressed in the learning disabled classroom at public school. You know that hearing something from people other than mom and dad is usually more effective with teenagers.

Today, we started the process of applying for public school. Because she always had an IEP, and she has a learning disability, the school requires testing before placement. I give the school credit; they did not make me enroll her to do the testing. I was upfront with them. I told them that I would base my decision on sending her back to public school on the services she would be eligible to receive. She finishes her testing tomorrow, so I’ll tell you more about it then.



Photo Credit: 2006 Julia Fuller.