LuLu is a paradox. On Friday, as usual, she took her weekly spelling test. I administered the test as I was also doing an IM meeting with our ADN conference committee. So I sat with my back to LuLu, who was working at her desk. And I was working at my computer.

I didn’t notice that she had laid one of her spelling assignments on the floor next to her, where she could easily copy the words as she was tested. BUT, when she finished the spelling test and proudly brought it to me she said, “Did I get them all right, Mom? I only had to look at this other sheet a couple of times.”

I had to bite my lip to suppress my laughter. That’s LuLu! She gets the urge to do something wrong…and her impulsivity kicks in…and she does it. But she’s notorious for telling on herself. And in such an innocent way.

I explained to her that copying off the sheet on the floor was cheating. But I did this gently, trying not to trigger an emotional reaction from her. There were minor grunts and self-depreciating comments. And there were groans when I explained that she had to re-take the test. But she sat back down, and spelled each and every word perfectly. Then I gave her the challenge of identifying the correct part of speech for each spelling word. She got 9 out of 10 on that. We talked about how she didn’t need to cheat, but instead to have confidence in what her brain already knew.

That situation, handled differently, could have ruined our day. But it is apparent to me that LuLu lacks so much in cause & effect thinking and is so impulsive, that she saw the opportunity to support herself with the list of words and did not see it as wrong. When I used the word “cheating” it immediately tapped her guilt/shame monitor. I had to tread lightly there, not at all the way you would handle other “cheaters”, because she is by far her own worst critic.

How can I not be proud of this child…her honesty and innocence is so compelling? And she was clever enough to figure out that if she laid that paper down there, she’d have back-up if she forgot a word…I’m still biting my lip to hide the laughter.