“Wisdom from a life of sacrificing, accepting and overcoming.” The words struck me on this Christmas Eve as I read them from a fellow parent of adoptive children with trauma and other challenges. She is a fiercely awesome mom who meets the challenges of parenting her children. She has been reading about the L’Arche movement, established by Jean Vanier. She detailed in her email how this man began 30 years ago establishing communities of people with mental disabilities and mental illness, where people being called to serve God in this way would go live among these individuals, assisting them and building relationships with those whom it is most difficult to like, or to love.

It was fitting to hear this message today, on Christmas Eve, about how people come to live this life of serving others, those who are truly marginalized. And how while in service to those people, the caregivers are often the ones who realize their own poverty and need for healing. This rang true for me as the mom of a child with many special needs as well.

This holiday season has not been easy for LuLu. This entire fall has been incredibly difficult. Problems with her hormones, intestinal issues, and immune system have reared their ugly heads, and coupled with the psychological and processing disorders, and all that a child who has been traumatized has to contend with. Well, it’s been a rough year. And I’ve spent the last few months being angry and feeling truly trapped. My frustration and negatively have been at an all-time high. Yet…there is so much I can learn from LuLu about my own weaknesses and where I need the wisdom that only God can provide.

The two messages that hit me on this Christmas Eve are that first, no matter how much sacrificing and overcoming I think I am doing, our Lord has done exceedingly more. He paid the ultimate price for us and overcame death. So for me to be whiney about the sacrifices I make for LuLu, or for any of my children is just that…being whiney.

The second message is that God shows up when and where you least expect it. He did on that Christmas Eve 2000 years ago, in a barn behind the Inn. And he shows up daily in our special children. Sure, there are many challenges these children face everyday. And they are rarely angelic. But God is right there, the whole time. In fact, I often wonder if He doesn’t hold his “special” children even more dear. The world was not expecting what it received on Christmas morn. And we usually are not expecting that our children will be the special gifts that they are. But they are special. And regardless of what happens as they impatiently await the holiday…they are most certainly a gift.

Merry Christmas!

More information on Jean Vanier and L’Arche:

Public Radio Interview

Jean Vanier, Wikipedia

Becoming Human, a book by Jean Vanier