There are many times on the ATN listserves where a parent comments that she tried Nancy Thomas’ approach or Love & Logic or another therapist’s recommendations and it “didn’t work” for her child. This is the reason that there are so many different parenting strategies for children who are struggling with attachment and trauma issues, or those with behavior that are associated with developmental or emotional disorders.

But sometimes the approach isn’t working because it isn’t clearly understood. I found this to be the case for me with Nancy Thomas parenting strategies. I had read the book “When Love is Not Enough”. Some of it made sense to apply to LuLu, but some did not. But seeing Nancy in person and listening to her explain the techniques changed my understanding profoundly. I “got it” in ways that words on a page could never convey.

The same could be said for the parenting strategies found in Love & Logic and from awesome therapists like Katharine Leslie. Seeing them in action can teach you a great deal. That always illusive balance of nurture and structure is best taught by seeing the “pros” model it. It is very hard to read warmth and loving eye contact in a book.

I was reminded of this truth again at the ATN conference last week, as I watched the various therapists and parents who have years of experience with traumatized children show us how they create a safe and loving; yet structured environment that helps the child to both learn to trust and learn to be responsible for interacting with the world appropriately. As well written as many of these professionals’ books are, they just don’t do these people’s strategies justice the way seeing them present does. Attitude is more caught than taught – and it is best caught by watching someone in person.

So, I was thrilled when I read this morning that Lotus Buds, International was taking on the project of translating Nancy Thomas’ DVD set “When Love is Not Enough” into Chinese. Undoubtedly Nancy can’t travel to everyone in China (although she has done trainings in Hong Kong); but her videos can. Lotus Buds has seen a need for adoptive parent training and are meeting that need through this, and other projects. If you want to see the impact they've had in their short time facilitating adoptions and providing parenting training in China, check out this video.

So, if you’re struggling with parenting strategies and can’t seem to make what you’re reading work for you, I would highly recommend seeing these professionals in person (or at least getting the video). Many of these professionals travel the country, speaking at very conferences and seminars. And some have DVDs available of their trainings or copies of recordings from conferences at which they’ve spoken.