I’ve been sharing some of the challenges involved with our rebellious 19 year old daughter. She left home quite angry the month she turned 18, so it has now been a year. In our daughter’s mind, we had become the bad guys. Because she moved out and was the youngest of the sibling group that we adopted, there hasn’t been an opportunity for us to see their birth family.

However, on Sunday, there was an opportunity for me to discuss “R’s” choices with her paternal grandparents. Our granddaughter turned two and her mother, who is “R’s” older sister, had a birthday party. There was a combination of adoptive family and birth family present at the celebration. Therefore, I seized the opportunity to have a talk with “R’s” grandparents.

They were not aware of all of her choices over the past year, nor had they completely understood the ramifications of those choices. For example, they were not aware of her choice to discontinue all of her medications. Nor did they understand how that might affect her thyroid, her bone density, and her future ability to have children.

The paternal grandparents have always been supportive of the girls’ placement with us. They are of course concerned about “R’s” well-being and her choices. They indicated that they would be inviting her out to dinner, and would try to help influence her choices.

I mentioned in a previous blog that she showed up at Christmas to get her presents. Then she had showed up at an open house we had in June for our son who graduated. We haven’t seen her or spoken to her this year, other than those two times. She has not given us her address or her phone number. Since her birthday is the same day as our granddaughter’s, I wondered if she would be expecting a gift.

I definitely wasn’t going to give her money, because I don’t want my hard-earned money spent on alcohol, cigarettes, or whatever other bad choices she is making. I did put together a gift bag with a ring, (she “lost” her promise ring) a Barlow Girl CD, and a few other items.

Sisters, Birth, and Adopted Family Members Gather for Birthday Party
When an Adopted Older Child Leaves Home Angry
New Hope for PSTD in Your Home
Teen rebellion or Brain Function

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