When you have children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or effect, you come to expect the good days and the bad. You so appreciate the good days. Sometimes you become stuck thinking that is how your children should act all of the time. You may even think that your children could act that way if they wanted. Probably you are getting a glimpse of how your children would be if they had not been exposed to alcohol while forming. Unfortunately, they were exposed to alcohol and it has messed up their brains forever. Trust me; they are not any happier about it than you are.

While you get frustrated trying to parent a child who sometimes has random actions and words, imagine living that way. Frankly, I cannot imagine making decisions and having no idea why I made them. Yesterday, I knew how to multiply and divide and today I do not have a clue. I see my teenage daughter’s frustration, yet she keeps plugging away.

Unfortunately, she makes bad decisions sometimes that make her disability even worse. She absolutely loves sugar. She is one of those people who can eat a whole can of frosting in one sitting, or an entire bag of candy. I can understand this because I was a chocoholic. I try not to keep it in the house at all. If I do buy it, I do not dare to take even one nibble. I can avoid taking a nibble, but if I give in, I will eat the whole bag.

She hasn’t reached that level of self-control yet and will sometimes go to bazaar extremes to get sugar. Unfortunately, when she has too much sugar she cannot function. It seems temporarily to eradicate her ability to think. She cannot do her schoolwork, her chores, or sit still. She also eats her fingernails, hair, and clothing during these times. While I want to be supportive of her, I get angry when she has these binges. Yes, I feel sorry for her, but she knows that this makes it worse.

Over the years, we have spent thousands of dollars trying to help her. She had years of speech therapy, psychological therapy, vision therapy, occupational therapy, and physical therapy. She also sees a psychiatrist, vision specialist, and received services for the learning disabled through public school.



Photo Credit: 2008 Julia Fuller.