I actually expected her to show up on Christmas day at grandma’s house. She showed up last year on Christmas day as well as on her birthday and at her brother’s graduation party. I took her gifts with me just as I had the previous year. No, I didn’t invite her. Actually, I cannot invite her. You see she has not given me her address or her phone number since she left home angry18 months ago.

I was a little surprised when she did not show up, especially when her older sister, brother-in-law, and nieces showed up. After all, she lived with them for almost a year after she left home. I knew where she lived then, but she has her own apartment now.

I was surprised when my cell phone indicated that I had received a text message. I know the teenagers use text messaging all of the time, but I don’t know many people from my generation that use it on a regular basis. It just takes too long. It takes me five minutes to write two sentences when I have to push one button at a time. I know, they use abbreviations and slang to make it easier and shorter, but I cringe each time I try to write that way.

It was a short simple message. Merry Christmas mom I love you. Well, it is a start. She is making an effort. She has never apologized for all the terrible things she said to me that day. Nor has she apologized for leaving my three-week-old daughter without a babysitter because she wanted to runaway.

I know, I am the adult here and while chronologically she is 19 now, obviously she isn’t there emotionally. I need to forgive her even though she hasn’t asked me to because it is the right thing to do.

No, I haven’t been dwelling on it. I don’t have time. I am still parenting eight children at home, homeschooling, blogging, delivering mail part-time, and I am still the chief cook and bottle washer around here.

I returned the text message letting her know that I had gifts for her. That I was unable to contact her because she had never given me her address or phone number. She responded that I now had her phone number. It was the one she was sending the text message from and that I didn’t have to buy her a present.



Did You Ever Think, “My Child’s Special Needs Are Too Much to Handle?”
When an Adopted Older Child Leaves Home Angry
Teen rebellion or Brain Function

Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2007