Every special needs parent knows what I’m talking about when I say “the child underneath”. Those of us who are blessed see glimpses of that child. The one our child might have been if...

And perhaps the one our child can become with the right combination of therapies, interventions and parenting.

It’s so easy to see the disability and totally miss the child. But what happens when you see those glimmers. I am inevitably caught off-guard by the “real” LuLu. She shows up at the most unexpected times and the most unexpected ways.

Today, for example, she asked me “Do you think I’m the only one from my mother’s ovaries who is now an American?” Only LuLu would ask such a complex question in such an unique way. Her Aspergers-like obsessions with all things medical brought about the ovaries reference. But she was seriously asking if I thought she had any biological siblings and if I thought any of those siblings had ended up in America. I had not real answer for her, only a realization that she does think about these things.

Later this evening, I found her tearfully watching Mighty Joe Young at the part where the large ape is jailed and they talk of putting him to sleep. Just like when she watched Charlotte’s Web, she was overcome with sympathy.

“You’re developing such a tender heart,” I commented.

“I am?” she looked a bit puzzled, “Well I think I want to...”

It’s in those ordinary glimpses of a child doing ordinary things...even ordinary adoption things (like asking questions about b-mom)...that make the parents of special needs children jump for joy. It’s that ever-needed reminder of the true child underneath, the one so mired down with the muck of his disorders. It’s the child that we’re spending all this time, money, and energy to help.

It’s a reminder that all the time, money and energy spent is worth it!