I have a four year old that can throw the greatest temper tantrums. I met her when she came into care the first time at twenty-one months old and she could throw them back then too. It usually starts with her demanding something, “RIGHT NOW!” I’m not usually too inclined to “obey” commands that come from children; I prefer the old fashioned please and thank you method. When she doesn’t receive immediate gratification she’ll usually repeat her command again only she’ll add some colorful language.

Sometimes, if the request is reasonable, like she wants some chocolate milk, I’ll remind her how to properly ask. After some difficulty during the first few weeks of these prompts, she’s been pretty good lately about complying with a “please.” The problems begin when we are not able to comply with her request. She likes to ask for Coke and chips several times a day and I tend to deny those requests frequently, she also likes to try to sneak outside by herself and she doesn’t like it when I tell her she has to wait for an adult or older child to go with her. She used to absolutely hate having to be strapped into her car seat and she had amazing escape techniques that may have even impressed Houdini.

Those reasons and a few others were the catalyst to set her off into full blown tantrum syndrome. Her favorites involve blowing snot until it runs down over her chin onto her shirt forming slimy yellow puddles. If enough snot isn’t available she’s just as happy to blow beautiful spit bubbles until they also form lovely pools on her clothes. She loves to kick her shoes off and send them flying at whoever has upset her and once their gone she’s happy throw whatever else is within her reach. She has a great arm so by the time she is an adult if they have professional women’s baseball teams I’m sure she’ll be a candidate for pitcher. If she isn’t strapped into her car seat when she’s throwing a fit she’s just as likely to throw herself dramatically to the floor and begin pounding her head against the floor or the wall, she really isn’t very particular which one. Then if she still hasn’t received her request the high pitched screaming begins.

Apparently she has had quite a bit of success with these methods in the past so I guess that is why she typically resorts to using them and draws them out for such an extended period of time. I think it’s going to be long difficult journey for her to gain control of her herself and learn new coping skills. Fortunately, for both of us, she’s still small enough- barely- for me to pick her up like a sack of potatoes and remove her from the public eye when she’s out of control. Last week we were at the elementary school for speech therapy when it happened, she had a great session and she didn’t want to leave. I ended up just wrapping her coat (well sort of) around her and walking out with her under one arm and her shoes in my other hand kicking and screaming and blowing snot all the way.
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