Check out this article in its entirety: The Last Resort.

I’d like to report that the information in this article was “news” to me, but sadly it is NOT. Working with the Attachment Disorder Network (ADN) for the last few years, I have met families who were forced into similar situations as the families in this article. They made the hard decision to relinquish custody of their troubled child to the state system in order for the child to obtain mental health services.

It happens at a shocking rate. This article reports that in 2004 between 23% and 27% of the children in Virginia’s foster care system were placed there “voluntarily” by their parents. The overwhelming reason parents would place a child into foster care –so the child would have access to funding for mental health services.

Talk about being between a rock and a hard place!

And Virginia’s not alone. There are 19 states that reported in a 2001 survey that parents had placed over 12,700 children into state custody for the sole purpose of receiving mental health services.

Why would a parent do that? The sheer cost of out-of-home placement for children who are a danger to others or themselves, and for whom all other options have been exhausted. Residential treatment placements are expensive, sometimes up to $1000 per day. Private insurances usually don’t cover beyond a 30-90 day period, if they cover at all. Even the most “financially comfortable” families have a difficult time affording the kind of care their child often requires.
And rubbing salt in the wound, some states actually require that the parents charge themselves with neglect in order to relinquish their children to the state system to obtain care. (I know you may have to re-read that sentence to believe it, but it’s true!)

In some states there are actually laws (13 states at this point) that prevent voluntary relinquishment of custody in order to obtain services. And several more are working on expanding their Medicaid programs (Katie Beckett/deeming waiver), but there are still several states where giving up custody – voluntarily – is either highly encouraged or required.

And I think I have it rough! I can’t imagine the emotional turmoil a parent goes through trying to make such a decision! It’s definitely a King Solomon, baby-splitting conundrum!

Children’s mental health and the lack of funding and resources is a crime in this country. As one professional put it in one of the many articles I’ve read: “If the child had cancer and the parents had to relinquish custody (and be charged with neglect) in order to obtain treatment, the entire country would be appalled!”

I’m not saying that parenting a child with cancer, or physical disabilities is a bed of roses. IT IS NOT! But parenting children with mental and emotional disabilities has the added burdens of total lack of resources and accessibility to them. And the social stigma of raising a child who looks “healthy” but behaviors otherwise.

Here’s the way the Joey’s mom from the above article summed it up:

“It’s acceptable to raise money if your kid has cancer,” Leigh Menditto says. “It’s not acceptable to raise money if your kid hits people.”