My lost luggage arrived home in the nick of time yesterday…time enough for me to unpack and Super Dad to repack the same suitcase. He headed out this morning for the week. He is a frequently traveler, which at our house means that he is on the road about 2-3 nights out of each week. This week he is gone Monday – Friday and will be next week as well.

I’m often told by other women that they just “could not stand it” if their husbands traveled that much. I have really not given it much thought as something I have control over or even much of a right to have an opinion to. Super Dad is very good at what he does, and in order to do it for a company that recognizes that and gives him much-needed variety and professional challenges, he has to travel to that company’s clients.

Travel has always been a part of his job. At his last job, which wasn’t nearly as rewarding to him, he only traveled once or twice a quarter. LuLu was young then and I was working full-time or nearly full-time. So life was totally different.

I think what I miss the most is having someone hanging out in the evening, someone coming home to change the family dynamics. Kay is so active in school that she’s always coming home late after some kind of practice and often dashing off again after dinner, or holing up at her desk to do homework. I’m here all day with LuLu – teaching her school, blogging when she takes a break, trying to squeeze in a bit of ATN duties. But, then again, I’m an introvert, so I’m content to spend any time I can get a break from LuLu in quiet activities.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a “traditional” life – the one I imagine other people to have, where both spouses go to work at 8 am, return home at 5 pm, and spend the evenings together. I suspect that’s rarer than I imagine, but also sounds so foreign to me.

And I absolutely detest the little “emergencies” that crop up when Super Dad is out of town, but never seem to happen when he’s here. Cars don’t break down when he’s home, nor does anything in the house. Water line breaks, holes in the roof, flat tires and blow fuses always time themselves to occur during his absence.

So what are the pros to Super Dad’s traveling? Besides bringing home our much-needed bacon, the biggest positive is that I get to sleep down the middle of the bed. Super Dad laughs about this, but it’s true…I love sleeping by myself! If LuLu’s had a particularly anxious day, she’ll ask to join me at night, but that occurs less frequently the older she gets. And I feel so spoiled sleeping down the middle of the bed. I also get to watch TV while I’m falling asleep; something else that doesn’t work well when you’re sharing a space. I set the sleep timer to Jay Leno and it’s ok if I doze off with the TV on.

The other pro is that I don’t feel as obligated to cook a large supper when Super Dad isn’t here. Not like he eats all that much, but if there are only two or three of us around instead of four, I can justify simple meals or eating out much quicker than if we’re all home. The flip side of this is that when Super Dad comes home I can justify cooking all the foods he and I like that the children whine about (like salmon).

Admittedly it’s harder to parent challenging children when one spouse travels. And it’s harder to promote healthy attachment, too. For years LuLu’s abandonment issues were triggered every time Super Dad left. She rejected him for quite some time. We had to be very purposeful in creating his presence when he was gone and giving them quality time together when he was home. Then, as she got older, his traveling was a great way to teach her how to read a calendar. Now, we use it to teach geography.

This week Super Dad’s in Hartford, Connecticut. That’s H-A-R-T-F-O-R-D, the capital of C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-C-U-T!

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