As quickly as she came home…she went back. Today’s blog was supposed to be an upbeat little ditty, complete with a picture of LuLu and Super Dad conducting a science experiment from our first science lesson in Georgia Virtual Academy on Saturday. It was a great day, and the two science lovers spent the afternoon exploring aquifers and how water pollution migrates.

But the bottom dropped out last night. I’m still not sure what happened or what could have happened differently (likely nothing). Since coming home on Tuesday LuLu has been better (with some qualifiers). She is a bit slower to get agitated and actually has shown the ability to “think” about something before she responds with anger.

But, the anger has taken on a more violent, physical tone. And that’s what happened last night. We suspected this, after witnessing what was happening in the hospital. (They are great, by the way, at not engaging her with any emotion showing – very respectful of who she is and her dignity.) So after trying to harm herself and us for over two hours last night, it became apparent that we were either going to be up all night trying to keep everyone safe, or we needed another safety plan. So back to the hospital we went.

I debated whether or not to post this news here this morning. It is so new, so fresh and so hard for me to process. I’m not sure yet what lessons to learn, what conclusions to draw, what advice to give other adoptive parents. I have no idea what is going to happen next.

I’m equally puzzled by several physical symptoms that have shown up as a result of her first hospitalization (or maybe not). In the five days she was home, some physical things happened that are worth further exploration as to their links to her neurochemistry. I’m highly frustrated that her body doesn’t seem to be cooperating with important things like getting her hormones regulated. There’s so much going on with this kid – who knows how to fix it? I don’t even know which doctors to call.



Note: I don't know if you can see it or not, but the door in the picture says "No Exit" - prophetic, huh?

Photo Credit