Haven’t seen any other bloggers tackle this. Just what do you do with Santa Claus? That is always an interesting, sometimes heated, topic this time of year. How much, how far, how long do you encourage Santa…or do you discourage the whole idea?

And does the fact that our children are adopted change how you handle things? Some parents believe the answer to this is a resounding “yes”. That children who have experienced the grief and loss through adoption are especially vulnerable to what could be construed as a lie about Santa. Still others adamantly advocate that Santa is an important part of childhood and a vital part of Christmas celebration. And others, like me, fall somewhere in between.

Then there is the troublesome issue of special needs children often being at a different emotional or developmental age than their peers. And, they too, could be more vulnerable to confusion surrounding Santa Claus.

So what to do? I have no answers for you because I think it’s all in what your family decides. There are viable arguments on all sides of this issue. Some recognize that the children either don’t believe (because in the past there’s been no Santa) or would be crushed when they learned something different, so they avoid Santa. Others, like us, treat the situation as we did with our non-adopted kids, for better or worse.

In our case, I seriously don’t know what will happen or what LuLu really thinks. She asks interesting questions, yet has still been very specific about the toy she wants Santa to bring. She had a marvelous encounter with Santa in the dollar store a few weeks ago. He was there, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and shopping. She eyed him cautiously and he said “hello”. “You look like Santa.” She commented. “Is that who you think I am?” he replied. And they had a nice chat about what she wanted for Christmas. She quickly told him that Christmas was about Jesus and he concurred. As he was leaving the store she ran over and hugged him and he handed her a business card. Her mind was whirling…and she announced she’s pretty sure he was just a “Santa helper.”

I am mute on the topic. Having been through this process three times before, I know it is best to say nothing, answer only the questions asked and let the child dictate where the conversation goes. Believing in Santa or wanting to believe in Santa is enough to keep things going. And even our grown children want to believe. So do I…and I hope he thinks I’ve been NICE!