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Bella is visually impaired. I know I’ve mentioned this in prior blogs, but today it’s not about Bella’s experience. It’s not about my experience. It’s about Bear’s. And Beauty’s. But mainly Bear’s.
Bear is inching up on his fourth birthday, and he understands things at a deeper level than Beauty (her developmental delays benchmark her comprehension at about a year less than her physical age). When we brought Bella home, he was excited beyond words. He still is, actually. He walked right up to her and said, “Hi, my name is Bear. And I’m your brother.”
It was so sweet, but I digress.
Once Bella was wide awake and reasonably interested in her surroundings, the big questions began. “Mom,” asked Bear, “why isn’t Bella looking at me when I’m talking to her?”
Explaining visual impairment to a three year old? Hmm, I probably should’ve put some preemptive thought into this one. I explained it the best I could.
“Keep your eyes wide open and cover them with your hand,” I instructed. Bear, always the curious one, went along willingly. “What do you see?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Bear replied.
“That’s kind of what it’s like for Bella. Her eyes are open, but she can’t see very much.”
And the lightbulb went off.
“So, if she can’t see, how can I show her my toys?” He paused for a moment, and thought. “Maybe I should tell her about stuff, then…like my toys and stuff?”
Bingo, kiddo. You got it.
With a few gentle reminders about Bella’s visual impairment, I can tell you–quite proudly–that Bear has already taken quite kindly to having another little sister and is completely unfazed by the need for description. He actively talks to her and tell her “important things” about his toys, the book he’s reading, and the like. For an almost four year old, he really tries to include what he feels to be pertinent information (i.e., “Barney is a purple dinosaur. And he’s big. And he sings a lot.”) Sure, he doesn’t know that we’ll have to one day explain to Bella about colors and sizes and even dinosaurs, but that’s definitely beyond his level of comprehension. What’s most important, though, is that he’s focused on including Bella and is already trying to make his own level of accommodations to bring her into playtime, mealtime, and so on. It may not seem like much, but it’s a fantastic start. Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately) for Bella, both Bear and Beauty are natural chatterboxes. They have the gift of gab and don’t shy away from putting it all in motion. Something tells me that Bella will have no delay in the fine art of communication with her two favorite examples paving the way.
When a new person comes to the house to meet Bella, Bear usually informs them that she can’t see very well and that they (said person) need to describe things to her. And he always ends his direction in the same way; he says proudly, as a beaming big brother: “Bella is the special-est baby in the world.”
Photo Credit: 2010. Courtney O.
I love the explanation you gave Bear for Bella’s visual impairment. It is always a great idea to explain to children about their siblings difficulty as young as possible. And in an easy way like you put it. Now he is more sensitive to his sister, and not only will it benefit her, but him as well! It will teach him the concept of “Show me don’t tell me;” rather than just talking about a toy he can describe it in depth, stating the color, size, shape, and any other attributes it may have. This will facilitate his speech as well! I write blogs on http://www.myspeechtherapycenter.com about communication wellness and awareness. Feel free to visit our site and access our free parent resources! Thank you for sharing this lovely post!