Traumatized children can display some challenging behaviors for their adoptive parents and caregivers. These behaviors frequently tend to isolate these adopted children from the rest of the family or group. Giving them time out or sending them to their bedrooms can isolate them even more. Our therapist has been recommending time in for these traumatized adopted children. Time in, can help them connect with the parent or caregiver. Being in close proximity to a significant adult can help a traumatized child regulate his or herself.

Instead of sending the child off to a corner or a bedroom, the parent has the child stay very close. If, for example, the parent is working in the kitchen, the child might help or just stand close by and observe.

Two of my adopted daughters have been having trouble with self-regulating over the past week. I ended up being called into work for a few hours each day. That seemed to send these two girls into a bit of a quandary. They were unable to complete their schoolwork and their household chores most of the week.

Therefore, on Sunday, I went with them to their Sunday school class and sat in between them. This seemed to have a calming effect on them. Later in the day, they seemed to be able to settle down and catch up on some of their homework.

Children usually learn self-control and self-regulating in their early years of development. They learn this through consistent interaction with their environment and their caregivers. They slowly build up a tolerance dealing with day to day frustrations.

However, traumatized children didn’t have consistency during those important formative years. During the time when they were supposed to learn how safe their environment was, they learned how unpredictable it was instead. Now, we adoptive parents must find unique ways to help them learn to control themselves.

Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2007