This one is easier than the gift list for kids. Picking out gifts for special needs children requires you know quite a bit about that child’s interests and special needs. Picking out gifts for their parents, however, is much easier – because our needs are a bit more universal. BUT, often times the gifts these parents need the most aren’t available at the mall.

If you’re looking for the right thing for that friend or family member parenting a special child, consider these:

1. Offer to Babysit. There is nothing that a stressed-out parent of a special needs child needs more than the chance to take a break. If you are in the position to care for their child, there is no greater gift than to offer. Of course that means caring for their child and following whatever regime, schedule and tasks must be done, and understanding and respecting their instructions about the child. But what a wonderful gift to make yourself available to them. Especially if they use it for that much-needed date night!
2. Attend an IEP or other meeting with them. If you have some experience in this area, or even if you don’t, another special gift you can give a parent of a special needs child is to come with them to an IEP meeting as their support and another set of eyes and ears. Advocate with them – support them.
3. Take them out and listen. Taking a mom out for dinner, or just coffee. Or maybe a manicure or massage. Or taking a dad out to watch a game or play golf…well these are priceless gifts as well. Parents of special kids need a chance to relax with friends and experience what “normal” parents often take for granted. Do something fun – promote laughter!!!
4. House repairs. If you’re handy, offer to help. Parenting special kids often takes a toll on the family both time-wise and financially. Chances are your friends parenting special kids have something that needs to be done around the house that they just can’t get to (because of either time or money – or both). In our case, this year it has been fixing drywall that was damaged last year during LuLu’s rages.
5. Buy them something they are forgoing. Parenting special kids requires that you forgo a lot. If you think for a bit, you can probably think of things that your friends would never buy for themselves right now because of their financial situation. Maybe your friend is a collector and is forgoing adding to his/her collection. Maybe it’s just the finer things of life – like jewelry, new clothes, perfume or their favorite food. Get something indulgent – just for them.

Ok, I’ll admit…I wrote this list because I would love to get all these things. Especially the first four. Exactly what does that tell you about parenting special needs children that the greatest gifts you can give us are gifts of your time and actions, not something you buy?