If you’ve ever studied Love and Logic philosophy you’ll remember that you’re supposed to give the child two choices and you’re supposed to be just as happy with either choice.
Therefore do not give the child a choice that you’re not willing to accept. For example, if you said to the child; you can either take a shower or take a bath, which would you prefer? Then you’ve given the child two choices both of which accomplish the same goal and make you, the parent, happy. However, it you said to the child; you can either take a shower or I’ll throw you in the ocean which would you prefer? Chances are you can’t fulfill choice number two if that happens to be the child’s choice, unless you live in an ocean front home, so you should not have given that choice.

The thinking behind this parenting philosophy is; that by giving children choices you are empowering them by giving them viable alternatives. The children don’t feel like the parents’ are ordering them around so the children are more likely to comply and at the same time learn decision making. This is especially effective with children who suffer from attachment disorders who never want to please their primary caregiver or children with FAS or FAE that need to learn decision making skills.

So it was with this logic that I approached the problem last week with the nine year old after I got the report card with the three “E’s.” I have tried many things already, I’m paying her a quarter for every paper with an “A” on it, I made her drop out of the play she was going to be in since she can’t keep up with homework, she brings home a note every Friday from her teacher reporting on her progress and she’s lost bedtime treat. Believe me, she is not learning disabled, she is very intelligent, this is a choice she has made to not do her homework.

So I gave her two choices; you can do your homework or your teacher has offered to put a cubicle around your desk in the classroom and she said that I can come in and sit by you to make sure you are doing your work, which would you like to do? She thought it might be pretty embarrassing to have a cubicle around her desk and have her mom sitting next to her. The note home from the teacher on Friday said, “All work is turned in.” She even asked me if she could use the computer to type a book report that could either be turned in typed or handwritten. I’m hoping the threat worked, because I honestly don’t have time to go sit beside her in her classroom, but then again, I think I might only have to do it once.
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