Still thinking about wounded moms of special kids…and the fact that we’re often the “walking wounded”. Check out this definition of walking wounded:

Walking wounded is a term used in first aid and triage to indicate injured persons who are of a relatively low priority. These patients are conscious and breathing and usually have only (relatively) minor injuries; thus they are capable of walking. Depending on the resources available, and the abilities of the injured persons these people may sometimes be used to assist treatment of more seriously injured patients, or assist with other tasks.

Sound like any mom or dad you know? Our injuries, because they are not seen (by us) as life-threatening, often take a very low priority. And we are right in there treating our more seriously injured children…24/7.

Walking wounded is also a term used for those casualties of war who have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). http://www.iboww.org/. So, the more I think about it, walking wounded is a very appropriate description of what it is like to parent a child with intense special needs for a long period of time. After years of fighting all the battles…we are definitely walking wounded.

The concepts of “compassion fatigue” and “secondary trauma” are becoming more prevalent these day, but still there is little out there in the way of resources and recognition of help for the “walking wounded” parents of children with significant disabilities.

I’m not sure what I’m asking for in the way of help. This could be due to my walking wounded state…part of chronic stress or chronic trauma (depending on how you define it) is loss of cognitive functioning. This means, in my case, there are days I can’t think my way out of a paper box. I literally can’t figure out what to ask for in the way of help.

This is part of what’s so maddening about parenting children with disabilities, especially those with complex combinations of disabilities. We’re on the front lines in the battle, but we’re also in charge of battle strategy too. Not only am I the foot soldier, but I’m the general. Very often it’s up to the parents to identify the needs, seek out the resources, secure the help, and then give the professionals input and guidance about their child’s specific needs.

A part of me doesn’t want to complain about this…because it’s not like I want professionals who know little about my child’s disabilities to “take over” our lives…it’s just that it’s overwhelming to be THE person in charge with little help.

It’s no wonder we’re the walking wounded. And it’s sad that some parents have to finally collapse in order to get the first aid they need.

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