I truly wish I understood what made some days easier than others for LuLu. After an incredibly rough day yesterday, she awoke with some grumbles that could have turned into another bad day. Instead, determined to “stay on the positive path” she worked hard.

And it paid off. For nearly 45 minutes she did her math lesson unsupervised, with no interaction from me. It was a chapter review and she only sought my help once (I was on the phone), interrupting me respectfully to ask if two pints were in a quart.

I waited for the major explosion, as it seems lately there have been as many days WITH an explosion as without one. But none came. I hypothesized why. At her psychiatrist’s urging we slightly increased a med today. But I also added an allergy med (realizing she had a stuffy nose, upset stomach and classic signs of fall allergies). And, she wanted to have a good day to earn the chance to go to church tonight.

For the first two weeks of fall programming at church, LuLu’s behavior in the kid’s group had been disastrous. I almost abandoned ship. In fact, I had abandoned the thought that she would be able to participate, but decided we’d show for dinner last week. Well the teacher of the kid’s group needed help and asked me if LuLu and I would stick around. Hesitantly I did. LuLu enjoyed the evening and I discovered that our church has more children with special needs in the ranks than ever before.

So, all day today LuLu was plotting to go to church to be in this group “like a regular kid, Mom”. While I hate that she feels “non-regular”, I’m thrilled that she wants to have this peer-to-peer interaction that only a couple years ago was non-existent.

I’m grateful for a good day, but chronically puzzled and frustrated that I don’t know what I did (if anything) to “cause” her to have an easier day today…because if I knew, I’d do it everyday for the rest of my life!