A year ago this week LuLu had an incident where her trauma was triggered and she nearly hurt herself or KayKay. I had left them at home while running errands and LuLu was playing with a new doll she’d bought with Christmas money. We have always been leery of letting her play with dolls and dolly diapers because her trauma memories are triggered by diapers (among other things). But she so very much wanted the doll…

The incident led to some serious destruction of Christmas decorations (I lost my nativity scene) and near-injury with a pair of scissors. It depends on which child you ask as to which child was about to get injured with the scissors (each one was sure they nearly hurt the other), but KayKay was able to ultimately keep them safe until I returned home…immediately.

This incident popped to mind this week as we watched a changed LuLu nurture her new Noel (aka Peanut). No obsessive trauma play at all with this doll at all! The difference is astounding.

What has made the difference? Well there’s a laundry list of changes since this time last year…so to point to any one thing would be difficult at best. But I think the reduction in anxiety by removing the school stressors is perhaps the one biggest factor. Next would be a consistent supplement routine and the effects of the HBOT from earlier in the year. After that I’d add in the improvement in her processing deficits from the therapies we’ve pursued this year. And I must admit that I have gained a clearer understanding of who LuLu is this year and how anxiety (things I would never dream to be anxious about) is the center of her disabilities. Trauma anxiety, frustration anxiety, misinterpretation anxiety…

Our Christmas was light years better than any Christmas we can remember. LuLu’s behavioral issues were few…the worst being when she started to get upset and I realized it might be due to the fact that one of our family friends had been hospitalized. When I asked her if this was why she was cussing…she stopped, reflected and burst into tears, admitting she was very worried about him. Once we assured her he would be fine, she pulled it right back together.

Everyday with LuLu continues to be a challenge, just a reduced level of challenge. It’s like the national security levels…last December we were on a definite RED…this year it is much more like Yellow with some Green days thrown in for encouragement.

And therein lies the diamond of 2006. Through all the struggles we’ve faced from outside forces, LuLu has made great strides. In fact she told me yesterday that 2006 had “just flown by”. When I asked her why she said, “Because I was happy this year Mom.”