We’re headed to Florida this morning, since Super Dad received a call last night that his father’s health is worsening. Knowing that he’s 91, the news is not shocking. But switching our plans and attention to Grandpa from LuLu is a bit challenging.

And so it is when parenting children with special needs. When “life happens” that doesn’t involve your special needs child, it really DOES involve your special needs child. Super Dad feels the need to visit his dad and to be there. So he needs to go. Oddly enough, he was scheduled to keep LuLu with him on Friday and Saturday this week, so I could do my big “mock testimony” project in front of Georgia legislators at the capitol on Friday. So, he announced that he was taking LuLu and driving to Florida this morning.

Whoa! I didn’t see how that was a good idea, knowing LuLu as I do. While she travels fairly well, LuLu is a handful for either of us solo, especially in strange surroundings. Couple that with the purpose of the trip…to spend time with Super Dad’s dad…it just wasn’t the best solution.

So, we’re all going. I’m flying back Thurs evening to make my Friday commitment, unless the situation changes.

It’s hard not to feel additional stress during situations like this. Already, I can feel the stress building. Having a child with special needs puts special requirements on any impromptu plans. First off, I had to check her medication supply, refilling her cases mid-week and figuring out which pharmacies needed to be contacted. I had to call doctors about some concerns and leave them ways to contact us on the road. Then I had to gather up her school work for the remainder of the week. Virtual school affords us the flexibility to take her school with us, if I can just get her to focus on it.

Both my father’s death, seven years ago; and Super Dad’s mother’s passing three years ago were stressful events. Caring for other family members and handling arrangements during these times of loss are never easy, But they exponentially more challenging because of the planning and vigilance that must take place while caring for LuLu at the same time as navigating our other family obligations. Restaurants, hotels and every other place we go need to be carefully chosen, and we need to constantly be thinking about contingency plans…especially when our children, like Kelly points out in her blog today, don’t handle change well.

Today, even writing this blog has been a challenge. LuLu is bouncing in and out of the office with an increasing anxiety/excitement that causes her to both be giddy and incredibly demanding. “Mom, you need to pack my suitcase…NOW!” Her verbal tics are increasing, and keeping her focused on any one task is nearly impossible. She vacillates between excited chatter and the frustrated beginnings of a meltdown, when told that she needs to gather some of her own belongings and wait for us to finish other tasks.

The comfort in all of this, and I hope this is true for other couples parenting special kids, is that Super Dad and I will be together. It is so much easier when you “share the stress”…at least that’s the way we view it around here. It’s tag team parenting at its finest. And it doesn’t hurt that Grandpa lives just down the street from one of the most beautiful beaches in the country…and the weather forecasts are mid-70s. Maybe things aren’t so bad after all.

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