My 14-year-old adopted daughter seems to be making huge efforts lately to do the exact opposite of whatever I say. She has even taken it to the ridiculous level of not doing things she wants to do that are good. For example, I went through the McDonalds drive thru the other day. As the employee handed me the drinks, I handed them back to the children. Most of them stood up and grabbed their drinks. Most stood up, except for my 14-year-old daughter of course. She refused to take off her seatbelt and stand up and she was in the second to the last bench seat in our 15-passenger van. Therefore, I sat her drink and her meal on the floor of the van between the front seats and left it there all the way home. When we arrived home, I gave her the meal. She was the last one out of the van and I had to wait for her. I have to wonder if prescribing behavior before she does it would help my adopted daughter to do the right thing.

We were all outside on a beautiful sunny day pulling weeds in the horse pasture. It was quite warm though, so after about an hour I said, “Let’s go inside, and get something to eat now, that is enough work for today.” Well, six of us came inside to eat and quit working. My 14-year-old daughter stayed outside for over an hour. I had specifically called her name and told her to come into the house with us. She ignored me.

Earlier today, I tried prescribing her behavior. I said, “I know you are about to ignore what I am going to say, but you can stand there and pretend like you are listening until I am done talking.” She has a habit of walking away while I am in the middle of a sentence. Maybe it helped, she did actually stand there the whole time.





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Photo Credit: 2006 Julia Fuller.