Each day I wonder what I’m accomplishing. As a formerly goal-oriented person, I’m used to having my days mapped out with a “to do” list that I check off and feel as if I’ve accomplished something. I am also used to looking back over my scheduling book and seeing progress.

In the world of parenting and teaching LuLu, there are days where nothing on any list gets accomplished. The past two days have definitely fallen into that category. Actually, we have accomplished something, school wise, but it has not been what I’ve hoped for. My hope (which feels more like the Impossible Dream) is that LuLu is able to keep up with her current assignments (many of which are slightly below grade level) and even “catch up” a bit.

Our biggest frustration, academically, is her total loathing of reading (and writing). I understand from the gazillion evaluations we’ve had, how many of LuLu’s disabilities impact her ability to read and write – Central Auditory Processing Disorder, Visual Processing Dysfunctions, Astigmatism, Working Memory Problems, Inattentiveness, Low Tolerance for Frustration. Combined, these are disastrous when it comes to our reading time.

Because virtual school has the ultimate of flexibility, I’ve tried moving the reading time around in our school day. We’ve tried starting with it since she’s fresh (produces a rage). We’ve tried leaving it until last (produces a rage). We’ve tried interjecting it in the middle, right before lunch, with the motivation of a break after reading is complete. She’s always lethargic and sleepy whenever it’s reading time.

Now, some parents may think she’s “faking it” about the lethargic and sleepy, but I’ve watched her closely enough to know that physiologically she does seem to shut down when it’s reading time. It’s almost like someone removes the thinking part of her brain and she becomes helpless. No amount of cajoling, threats of consequences, promises of rewards changes a thing.

But…on Monday I started insisting again that she wear her glasses. Her glasses, much like her needed dental work, have become something that I haven’t “fought the battle” for. She has broken several pairs and complains mightily about wearing them. Yet, they are for her astigmatism, and only by continuous wear will they help her.

And for a girl with tracking and other visual processing problems, having your vision corrected in any way has to help.

So, since Monday, reading has been easier. The chapter we’re doing has myths from all over the world, and unlike her usual distain for fiction (she likes reading about science the best), she’s enjoying the stories. I adjust the lighting (no overhead fluorescents) and give her a ruler to assist with tracking, if she wants. And she reads rather well.

On Monday we also started the virtual school’s formal writing curriculum. I expected a battle. What I got instead was excitement! She has never before been excited about writing. I’m not sure why it’s working, but it is! Again, I’m insisting, and she’s not really arguing, that she wear her glasses all the school day.

Eventually, LuLu is likely to benefit from intensive vision therapy. But seeing how it will be a big out-of-pocket expense AND we’ve been told that it’s intense and frustrating therapy…we’ve decided to wait, hoping her frustration and violence levels will lessen as we address other issues.

Still, I can’t help but question if I’ve got it backwards. Would improving her reading and writing skills lessen her overall frustration? Will giving her outlets for expressing herself (through writing) help her overall self-control? LuLu is a huge artist, drawing her way into a calm state often works for her. Would she use writing for the same purpose if she were able? (I know her mom does!)

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