Last year I had a sebaceous cyst removed from my leg. This cyst had been with me since I was five years old. But it was growing (about the size of a golf ball) and pressing on my leg muscles just above my knee, causing discomfort. The doctor said it was too big to remove in his office, so we had to go the general anesthesia/outpatient clinic route.

He was also concerned about whether or not it would leave a scar. Because of the size and depth, he did indeed have to make the larger incision. And it has left a very obvious scar (not to mention a dent in my leg where the muscles hadn’t grown after carrying the thing for 40+ years).

It’s hard to imagine something that has been with me for so long not leaving a scar.

The same is true about the wounds we receive parenting our children. While I think this is true for all parents…all parents are wounded by their parenting experience in some way…I think it is magnitudes greater for those of us parenting children with challenges. When all is said and done, we’re going to be left with quite a few scars.

Scars can be hard to look at, like wounds, because they are reminders of the pain. Or they can be more like badges of honor…reminders of survival. And that can make them motivators to take action after the battle is over.

I can tell you straight up that the wound (scar) that is bugging me the most deals directly with the school system. It takes a huge amount of grace (from above…I don’t have in within myself) to handle anything school-related. The fact that Kay is enrolled in the very school district that so deeply wounded my family is hard to reconcile. The fact that many of our friends are teachers, paraprofessionals or otherwise employed by the same school district is sometimes a stumbling block to conversations. I have a hard time reconciling the reality that good people work for a school district that has done such outlandish and…yes…evil things.

So maybe my reflection on my wounds is more about watching my wounds heal into meaningful scars…reminders of the deep pain and intense struggles. Maybe this is more about finding a new focus and direction for my energies to make. Maybe it’s about finding the grace to heal while still keeping the passion for helping others and changing things that make it so hard for children with disabilities and their families.

Maybe…



You Must Be a Happy Family

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